Are You Listening?
Recently, I was asked to do something I have never done before. Sweet friends of mine asked if I would be the keynote speaker at a local chapter of the Community of Hope International’s annual retreat in Little Rock. I said I would be honored.
As I planned my time with this gathering of lay pastors, my insides were a tangled ball of excitement and nerves. There were two keynote sessions planned on the healing power of listening. I was nervous because my days have been spent with middle schoolers. But this retreat was with adults who voluntarily signed up, expecting me to say something they needed.
So, I prayed, and I planned. I prayed, and I asked Eric for his thoughts on my plans. I prayed and I rewrote my plans. I prayed and… I stepped up to the podium.
And?? God was present in our time together, covering it all with his presence and grace. As we examined scripture, and the lay pastors shared what they found in there, God was among us. When Jenga towers crashed down, they understood in a new way how the overwhelming load of grief becomes more than we can bear sometimes.
Our time together ended with a beautiful blessing of the hands service where participants spoke words of encouragement to each other.
After we were finished, I returned to our friend’s house, and Eric and I went for a walk. “They loved me!” I exclaimed. “I was funny, I was insightful, honest, and energetic.
But, more than anything, I expressed hope to Eric that the Community of Hope lay pastors left feeling inspired by our time together in God’s presence and scripture.
The majority of our time at the retreat was spent studying scripture and sharing our stories.* I challenged all to look at two familiar stories of Jesus through a different lens and discover what they have to teach us about the healing power of listening.
I wasn’t really sure how well this time in scripture would go. I’m used to middle schoolers, who have the focus of a squirrel. It was, therefore, such a blessing to look out in the room and see the adults really studying and searching scripture. When I tried to call everyone back together, many of the groups asked for more time. It was with gratitude that I gave them all the time they needed.
When we did come together, there were some wonderful insights shared. We were reminded that taking time to listen to others can throw off our schedule, and it can be uncomfortable. Sometimes people want to talk when we’re worn out. By sitting down at the well with the Samaritan woman, Jesus shows us that caring for others doesn’t work on a schedule. It’s not always convenient. By meeting with Nicodemus in the dark, Jesus reminded us that it’s important to make space for those who are no longer quite sure what it is they believe.
There are many aspects of Jesus which we, as his followers, are asked to emulate. His willingness to hold space for others is one of the most powerful.
Our afternoon session was centered around Jenga, which beautifully illustrated how listening can be such a gift to those who grieve and are hurting. As participants removed a block from the tower, they wrote a loss they, or someone they know, carry….
Cancer. Separation after a long marriage. Loss of health. Loss of family. Miscarriage. Estrangement. Changing churches. Shame. Loss of pet. Discrimination. Confidence. Job.
We made space for sharing the grief we carry for LGBTQA+ loved ones who bear the pain of a society, friends, family, and even church who tell them they are unworthy of love and the same human rights as everyone else.
We didn’t solve the world’s problems that day. We didn’t come up with magic healing words. We didn’t listen perfectly. And we didn’t come up with a 10 point strategy for taking away the hurts and grief of those who cross our paths.
What we did do was to ask God into our space, and then we practiced listening together - in a safe space, with friends whom we trusted with our honesty. At the end of the day, I believe that’s what we all want, and need. I believe that’s what it means to be a follower of Jesus.
Whether we are the ones whom people come to for a listening ear, or we are the ones who need that listening ear, these moments are opportunities to be present with each other. We might be asked to hold hard stories. We might be the ones sharing difficult emotions. However you find yourself in these moments, may God speak peace, wisdom, and love. May you walk away reminded that you are not alone.
Peace,
Denise
*There is a Jewish practice called Turning the Gem, I first learned about in Rob Bell’s book What is the Bible. The practice is based on the belief that scripture is like a precious stone which, when it gets held up to a light, causes us to see the different perspectives we might need for the day.
