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Exposed grief
We have learned to share our joys because to do otherwise is dangerous. When we are honest about our struggles, the longings which cause us to stare off into the distance, the questions and doubts causing us to re-think what we believed to be true, or how we are still struggling with the loss that rocked our world, our honesty is often dismissed. We can be made feel like our pain, as well as our faith, are being attacked.
It’s the other losses that are going to break me
A reality of living with a loss is that it’s not the only thing that gets changed. Everything else around us changes too. We grieve our primary loss, such as the death of our person, job loss, divorce, changes in our health…
These can traumatic enough. But, there are other losses which come also. They are often called secondary losses, and their impact intrudes in areas we had thought were safe.
Letting the “should’ves” go
“You most likely did the best you could at the time with what you knew. Life is complicated. Troubles don’t take a number, and they don’t wait for their turn. They happen while we are busy with our jobs, our commitments, our families… life. It is difficult to focus on only one thing all the time, or to see the whole picture at once. If you are living with regrets and guilt, I invite you to offer yourself the same grace you would invite others to live into.”