Seeking comfort and rest with hygge

Last week, before our youngest headed back to college, we ventured outside to look up at the night sky. Flashlights weren’t necessary, except to make our way through the barn, where the moon’s light couldn’t reach.
When we stepped out of the barn and into the hayfield behind, we turned around in circles in silence. The sky was so clear, the full moon brilliantly shined against the snow, and the trees’ dark shadows, which line the field, were as sharp as if the sun was out. We stared wordlessly up at the sky in amazement. We identified Jupiter, Mars, and what we believed was Venus and Saturn. I love these moments with my children.

I have written before about the struggle of winter, and how the cold and dark can make our grief a little harder to carry. This time I want to share about the Danish practice of Hygge (pronounced hoo-gah). I came across this as I was preparing for an upcoming retreat and workshop. The more I read, the more I became excited to share this with you all. 

The way I like to describe it is that it’s like a warm hug you give yourself when the world around is cold and dark. The Dictionary app says that it’s “the feeling of coziness and contentment evoked by simple comforts, as being wrapped in a blanket, having good conversation, enjoying food, etc.”

Heather Stang, has a fantastic article titled Hygge for Grief: Warmth & Comfort as Self-Compassion, which can be found here. She basically taught me everything I now know about hygge. ..

It’s an invitation to be present with yourself,
to be okay with where you are,
and to let go of the pressure to constantly be productive.
Slowing down and focusing on your surroundings
can create a buffer against overwhelming feelings,
help you reconnect with yourself and your emotional state.

For the past couple of months, there has been a deep need within me to find a YouTube channel of a crackling fire. After finding the perfect one, I grab a cup of hot coffee, settle under a blanket to work, read, crochet, or watch The Great British Baking Show. The sound of the flames have been incredibly comforting. It reminds me of the hours I spent sitting by the fireplace at our previous house doing those very things. Memories come back of friends gathered around the fire, and I don’t feel not so alone.

That’s hygge. I’m finding my way through this season of darkness and cold in much the same way that the world around us does. Nature takes these days to rest. As children of God who are created to be in relationship with creation, we can find renewal and rest when we too sit with the dark.

But, how?

Actually, wait. Before we look at how, I want to make clear that there is no perfect, or one way, to “do” hygge. It’s not a task to be accomplished. It’s more about letting these days hold us, and respecting the. natural rhythm of our body to rest. However you do this is yours to practice. These days are yours.

So, let’s look at how we might begin…

• Embrace self-care
  Allow yourself the time and space to read, snuggle under a cozy blanket, enjoy the candle you’ve been saving, enjoy a special treat

• Practice self-compassion
  Be okay with. not being productive

• Create an environment that is cozy
  What smells, sounds, textures, or tastes help you feel held and comfortable? Maybe it’s a vase of fresh flowers, instrumental music, cozy sweater, or a bowl of day-after chili.

• Spend time in nature
  There is power in feeling the sunshine on your face, being out in something bigger than ourselves, breathing fresh air.

• Connect with others
  This may be one of the hardest ones, especially when the cold keeps us inside so much. And for the introverts among us, (speaking to myself here!) this doesn’t mean that you have to be with people all the time. However, spending time with others feeds an innate need within each of us to be connected with others.

• Slow down and be present in the moment
  You are not seeking perfection. You are practicing rest. Find it when you can and enjoy those moments.

In these remaining days of winter, my prayer is that each of us will find rest and comfort to know that we are not alone. If you would like to talk more about hygge, or share how you are practicing of it, I would love to hear your thoughts. May we be encouragers to each other in these days.

Peace,
Denise

“To go in the dark with a light is to know the light.
To know the dark, go dark.
Go without sight, and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.”
- Wendell Berry